Mental Conflictions
by dark.angel.261
Summary: Konoha is going to war. Naruto is gone. Sasuke wants to kill everyone. Sakura is stuck in the middle. SasuSaku later on.
1. Chapter 1

Final Day  
_

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I just can't believe the day has come_  
_When all the clocks stand still_  
_The horizon seems to disappear_  
_And all our dreams are unfullfilled_  
_I can feel the end is near_  
_It all has come as we had feared_

_

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She couldn't believe it was really happening_.

They were going to _warwar**war**.  
_

The words tasted bitter on her tongue.

There was going to be people dying. So many people _dyinghurt**injured**._

There was going to be tears. So many tears of _ragebetrayal**sadness**_.

_'Is this what it has come to?_' Sakura thought as she walked down the empty streets of Konoha, the citizens having been evacuated. The streets had only just been repaired from Akatsuki's last attack, they were going to move on,_ to live. _

Now they were going to fight.

_To die._

She walked past the _emptydark**deserted **_Ichiraku.

_'Narutos going to be pissed when he finds out.' _They had already shipped off Naruto and 'B', their only chances of victory. The two that could win the war were sent away without even knowing of the fate of their homes.

She felt _guiltyguilty**guilty**_. She didn't do anything to stop it from happening. He was sent away without a fight and before he finally figures out what is really going on, some of his friends (_Kakashi, Sai, Yamamoto, Iruka, Shino, Kiba, Neji, Tenten, Lee, Ino, Shikamaru, Choji, Hinata_, _**Me**_) might be dead and he wouldn't have been able to say goodbye or fight with them.

Because they were _fighting_ for him.

Because they were _killing_ for him_._

Because they were _dying _for him.

Because there was _war _for him.

If anyone died, if his friends died, if _she _died, for him, he would never forgive himself.

She couldn't fight either. She was ordered to stay in the hospital and heal.

"That is where you are needed." they said, but she could feel the undercurrent in their words.

_We don't need you._

Nobody seemed to need her. She was the Hokage's apprentice, she could split the earth with the tap of her heal, she was the best medic in all of the five great shinobi nations having surpassed Tsunade years ago, and yet her existence was deemed unnecessary in the midst of the biggest battle of their generation.

They made her feel_ weak__weak_**_weak_**

What made it all the worse was that this was not the first time. Naruto always needed to protect her because she was too _weak._ On the many missions they went on together, rarely was it her saving him, but rather _him saving her_. Naruto would take the bull by the horns and face it in any direction other than herself, even if it meant pointing it at _him_self.

Kakashi never gave her the time of day for training because she was too _weak. _After the first few rounds of the chunin exams Sakura rarely even _saw _the man behind the mask, for he was _far_ too concerned with the dark haired prodigy that would make her heart flutter irrepressibly. He didn't trust her to hold her own in a fight, didn't trust her with the secrets that had remained hidden for so long, that had changed her life. He would push her behind him to protect her, would tell her to run, to leave, because she was _weak._

And Sasuke.**  
**

Sasuke never listened, nor cared because she was too **_weak_**. When she would beg for his attention in the older days he would pay her no heed, for she wasn't fit to be the dirt on the bottom of his shoe. _Sasuke_, the boy she fell in love with. _Sasuke,_ the boy who protected her. _Sasuke,_ who caught her when she fell from Gaara's sand, who saved her in the forrest of death, who thanked her as he _**left**. _

_Sasuke,_ the man who tried to kill her. The man who would have succeeded if not for Naruto's ever-perfect timing.

_She always needed to be rescued._

**_Because she was weakweakweak!_  
**

Her life was suddenly spiraling downwards, and there was nothing she could do to stop it anymore.

Never before had she felt so _.__helplesshelpless**hopeless**__._

She _couldn't_ stand it.

She _didn't want _to stand it.

She was _breakingbreaking**breaking**_.

Falling apart at the seams as the truth she once knew unraveled to reveal _lieslies**lies**_**.**

Itachi was innocent.

Danzo was evil.

Sasuke wanted to destroy Konoha, to kill all that grew and lived within it's walls, to kill team 7 and the rookie 9, to kill her.

It _hurthurt**hurt**._

She wanted it to stop.

_stop._

**STOP!**

**

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**

Hey peoples! so that was my first(ish) attempt at writing a serious chapter and ohmigod, its hard!

butbutbut! this will be a multi-chappie, sasusaku-ness may unfold (as soon as I get a solid plot forming in my head)

for those who are curious, the lyrics on the top are to the song Final Day by Tokio Hotel (totally awesome band ^_^ squee)

ALSO! **does anybody have a good (free) site where it can translate english to japanese** (not kanji but like Itadakimasu, Gomenasai, Arigatou)? if so please tell me so I can (hopefully) write some ass kickin scenes! (another first!)

anyways, **review** please! you people are my motivation to keep writing!


	2. Chapter 2

FYI: for those of you who read ch.1 as soon as it had come out, I added on to it a bit a few hours later so check it out if you want...yea, R&R please!

* * *

To The End

_

* * *

_

_

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Say "Goodbye"_  
_To the last parade,_  
_And walk away,_  
_From the choice you made,_  
_And say "Goodnight,"_  
_To the hearts you break_

* * *

It was all but silent as the remaining seven of the rookie nine, as well as team Gai and Sai, sat together at the front gates of Konoha. There was none of their usual trivial banter that could be heard all the way at the Hokage Tower, only a thick, suffocating atmosphere of dread. In a matter of hours team 8, team 10, team Gai, and Sai would be sent to the front lines of battle whereas Sakura would remain at the hospital.

This could be the final time she will see them.

_Alive._

The very thought of the people she loved so dearly, so warm and comforting, lying on a stretcher, cold as ice, as the white sheet that shields their faces and bodies from view steadily gains crimson splotches that creep through the linen fibers until there isn't a speck of white remaining, it made her want to forfeit her lunch.

One by one, the teams stood to leave.

First was Sai. His skills as a ROOT made him one of the many ANBU in charge of keeping the enemies at bay and holding them off as long as he could. Chances of survival were minimal.

He stopped in front of Sakura's hunched over form and bent to her level.

"Sakura,"

He didn't call her ugly. No false smile adorned his face to hide his nonexistent emotions. There was only a grim line.

"Sai," she breathed, feeling tears prickling the backs of her eyes but she refused to let them fall. There was so much she wanted to say, so many emotions she wished he could learn, so much _time_ that they didn't have.

She lunged at him, wrapping her arms around his slim shoulders and holding on as if her life depended on it, careful to avoid the two sleek katana that were strapped to his back. At first he stiffened, then returned the embrace just as tightly.

She couldn't tell how long they stayed like that. Hours? Minutes? Seconds? She had lost count while trying to perfectly preserve the moment in her mind; how soft his dark hair was against her cheek, the very faint smell of ink and fresh parchment that surrounded him, the feel of his warm, sturdy arms that held her close as a lover would, the desperation, the finality.

His arms loosened from around her shoulders, slowly, regretfully.

"Goodbye." and for a split second, through his eyes she could see the sorrow and uncertainty, but that was quickly replaced with a cool look of solid determination. The face of a warrior.

The face of a _shinobi._

"Goodbye." She whispered.

_Then he was gone._

Next was team 8, they had been assigned the duty to track the enemy's position and alert the village and army when they began to approach. Alarms would sound, doors would lock, citizens that hadn't already been evacuated would run for the safe houses hidden in the Hokage Monument, and shinobi would scramble to their positions for, as soon as the alarms stopped, the enemy would be reaching the front lines.

The war would begin.

Sakura gave Shino a rather awkward hug, they didn't know each other too well but war made you do crazy things.

Kiba was next. There was no hesitation in hugging him for he had done so much for her, both directly and indirectly. He tried, on numerous occasions to help herself and Naruto retrieve their evasive teammate, and was always left with an injured body or injured pride. Hell, recently she knocked him out during one of these missions, she never really apologized.

"Gomenasai," she whispered to him, then added, "Arigato." He smiled wolfishly at her before saying goodbye.

Then there was Hinata. The girl, whose clumsiness and stuttering would tend to resurface around a certain _blonde,_ carried herself over to Sakura. Her eyes were directed downwards and her fingers fumbled nervously together, as if she didn't know what to do.

Sakura enveloped the nervous girl into a hug then leaned her head closer to her ear and whispered "You better come back." They pulled apart a little to look at each other more clearly and Sakura could see the tears forming in her pale eyes. Sakura gave her a soft smile. "_He_ still hasn't answered your confession yet, has he?"

At this the Hyuuga girl blushed before shaking her head, a few tears escaping but those were quickly brushed away by a flick of Sakura's fingers.

"Arigato, Sakura-chan." she said quietly, though Sakura could see a new determination to come back alive burning in her eyes. She rejoined team eight as they all shared a meaningful look, before they too were gone.

Then team Gai. They were assigned to be the direct guards of the village and would stand only a mile or so away from its boarders, ready to take out the enemies with brute force if necessary.

Sakura and Tenten exchanged hugs while Neji only offered his hand but Lee was soon in front of her.

"Sakura-san,"

"Lee-kun," He looked so serious, morbid even. It didn't suit him. She wanted him to run around, screaming about youth and Gai-sensei and how one day she would be _his_ youthful cherry blossom, or maybe do one thousand push-ups for not being youthful enough, or _something_.

_Anything_ was better than that silence.

He enveloped her in what could have been their final hug, whispered goodbye then team Gai disappeared.

The final team to leave was the one she was dreading the most; team ten. They were assigned to sneak into the enemy base and discover their strategy and alert Konoha so they could make an effective strategy.

Sakura gave Shikamaru and Choji akward hugs, and then there was Ino. With her platinum hair pulled back tight and weapon pouches littering her entire form, she looked ready for battle, but her eyes were glassy as tear after tear fell down to the dirt road. This was the breaking point for Sakura. Ino, her first friend who saved her from bullies when she was relentlessly teased and picked on. Who gave her a ribbon to show off her forehead rather than hide it. Who took away her fear and gave her confidence. Her rival in love. Her _best friend._

This time, she could not hold back her tears.

They flung themselves at each other, gasping as sobs racked their bodies, desperate for air. Desperate for time. Ino was shaking, not only with her sobs but also with fear. Fear of the battle she was about to plunge headfirst into, of the battle where she may very well loose her life if not all of the lives she cherished. Small hands fisted each other's shirts as the two momentarily gave in to all of their fear, their sadness, their anger and doubts.

With Shikamaru and Choji off to the side, for a moment it was just two best friends holding on to each other for their last seconds together until a blaring noise caused them to break apart.

The alarms had sounded.

_The war had begun.

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_

Hey peoples! I'm baaaack!

Song by My Chemical Romance

*special thanks to empathapathique for suggestions/help/support!*

(for those who didn't know, I don't own Naruto. shhh)

So what do you think? review please!!!


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